Comedy Gala-ing a Comedian's Perspective

“Hi Louise, could you do my gig?” I knew already that I was going to say yes. I’m basically a whore for doing stand up. But I don’t get paid. So actually, I’m not a whore, I’m just a massive slut. Go me! I’m not picky, I’ll swipe right on anything. (Is it swipe right? I haven’t been single since the 20th Century. It could be left, I’ve no idea. But I think I’ve established my credentials as someone who is Down With the Kids, which is why of course I was approached by some Young People to do their comedy gig at Roll for the Soul, No More Taboo's.)

 And here’s the thing. Yes, I’m a massive slut for stand-up, with a diary full of one-night stands, but some one-night stands are special. Like the one where he made me a bacon sandwich the next day. Like the one where I decided not to transpose two digits of my phone number (20th Century dating meant no stalking on social media and you could genuinely lose people by just swapping two numbers) I married that one.

Anyway, I have massively digressed. It’s an age thing. No More Taboos was a properly brilliant night. If I were the kind of person who was discerning in the types of gigs she did, I’d have discerned it. I’d discern it again tomorrow. Why? Here’s a list:

 • No More Taboos was in aid of a properly brilliant cause: fanny pads and mooncups for women who find periods even fucking harder than they already are, because they are homeless. I don’t have periods because I am smacked up to the gills on baby-preventing drugs. [Once you have actual babies, you know you don’t want to rely on mechanical means, or men, or remembering to take a damn pill. Imaginary babies are beautiful and amazing and you can cope brilliantly. Actual babies aren’t. You don’t want to risk accidentally getting any actual babies.] Anyway, I digress again; an age thing, I read somewhere. When I did have periods, I was absolutely not okay with tampons and nasty disposable fanny pads. I was a mooncup user when the students who were at the gig were in nappies. I have held up a flagon of my own blood and wondered at its crimson glory, emptied the flagon and then stuffed the empty flagon back up my twat. Anything that promotes the use of the menstrual cup is okay by me.

 • Roll for the Soul has three of my favourite things: coffee, wine and bikes.

 • We were an all women bill where we could talk about our genitals without being concerned that somebody was going to think it was a bit yucky. “You’re at a gig about periods, what the fuck did you expect????” we could, quite reasonably, have shouted, if they had dared. We could have even looked ugly while we did it.

 • The actual women on the bill: Jo Duncan, Eliza Fraser, Alice O’Brien, Pravanya Pillay, Becky Povall, Imogen Truselle, me and a bunch of improvisers from Bristol Improv. I bloody love these actual women. Some of them are my comedy sisters. I have laughed at them and with them in seedy bars and cafes all over Bristol and the South West. The improv was a revelation. I used to be into it when I was a young’un, but I’d been laboring under the apprehension that it was a bit wanky ever since, possibly under the influence of an ex-boyfriend, now I come to think of it. Well, I can sort of see why my ex boyfriend thought it was wanky. Because it was brilliant fun and he was a boring bastard. Proper hilarity, quick-thinking, great performances, I could watch it all night and next year, I am going to have a go at it myself, for the first time since the early nineties.

 • The audience. What a smashing bunch. And so spectacularly beautiful and young that I was left slightly moist.

 So, if you guys are ever thinking of doing anything ever again, please do invite me. I had proper fun. Louise x